


Perspective

by fizzfooz



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Brotherhood, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Peril, Status Effects
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfooz/pseuds/fizzfooz
Summary: Ignis is afflicted by Mini.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Ignis Scientia, Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum, Gladiolus Amicitia/Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia, Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia, Prompto Argentum/Ignis Scientia
Comments: 15
Kudos: 122
Collections: Ignis whump February exchange





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saisei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saisei/gifts).



Ignis should have been keeping an eye on Noctis while he practised his magic. Should have been. But he had a handle on the basics now and Ignis had practise tests to grade, speeches to write, the minutes from four separate committee meetings to go over, and essays of his own to plan. He swore he'd only looked away for a few seconds but apparently a few seconds was all it took for Noct to cause an explosion.

Instinct took over. He abandoned his piles and piles of papers and shoved Noct off his stool, out of the way of the impact. Bluish smoke filled his eyes and lungs. He coughed and coughed and coughed and when it cleared , he fought his way out of swathes and swathes of what felt bizarrely like fabric. When he was finally free everything looked... larger. Much larger. A stool the size of a Behemoth was looking down at him with stern disregard.

“Shit,” said a Noct the size of Bahamut. “Ignis? Ignis?! Are you okay?” He shoved the stool aside with a gigantic hand and stared down at Ignis. Ignis poking his head out of the clothes he had been wearing. A massive blue eye came down to meet him. “Ignis? Are you gonna beat the crap outta me?”

“Not right now.”

“Shit,” Noct said again. “I'm sorry! I didn't think-- I can undo this. I think. Just let me--” Noct reached for him.

“No! Absolutely not!”

“You can't stay there. What if someone stands on you?”

“I'm _naked_.”

Noct's enormous face blushed from the roots of his hair to his chin. “I won't look, okay? I've got an idea.” He took the pocket square from Ignis' pocket and poked several holes in it with his pen. “There. Hot couture.”

“It's haute couture and that was Altissian silk.”

“Would you rather be naked?”

“Of course not.” He took the pocket-square-turned-smock and shoved his head and arms through the holes. It swamped him but it was indeed better than nothing.

Noct cradled him as carefully as he would a baby bird and lifted him onto the desk, the surface of which was now a mess of spilled potions and a sticky energy drink that Noct had been in the middle of. Noct righted several test tubes and stared intensely at them. “Okay,” he said. “I think if I do this.” he snatched a pipette and took a drop of one of the spilled potions. “And this.” He added it to a beaker of something. There were several more steps. Then he held another pipette out to Ignis. “Take this.”

“I am not a hamster.”

“Come on. Just drink it. I've gotta fix this.”

A few seconds of humiliation was worth it to put this right, Ignis supposed. He stuck his tongue out and waited for Noct to give him the dropper. He couldn't help but notice it made Noct turn very red again. He licked the drop given to him, trying not to get it all over his chin and face. Noct jerked it away when he was finished, then rested his chin on his hands on the desk to await the results.

Nothing happened. The clock in the corner ticked away several more minutes. Nothing continued to happen. They gave it half an hour.

“Shit,” Noct said and Ignis couldn't quite summon the will to scold him for the language. “You've got an idea, right? You know what else we can try?”

“I don't.” Ignis had only recently been given access to the armiger himself and he was far from an expert, as much as it pained him to admit his ignorance.

“We've gotta ask my dad then--”

“No!” The very thought of the king knowing what an absolute state he'd gotten himself into made him quake. He'd spent so long proving he was responsible enough to care for Noct. He couldn't allow himself to be seen like this. “No. Promise me you won't tell the king about this.”

“Ignis, don't be stupid. You were trying to save me. He'll understand.”

“Absolutely not. We will figure something out and you will not allow anyone to see me like this. Promise me, Noct.”

“Ignis--”

“Noct, please. I can't allow anything to affect my standing in the Citadel. Any mistake, any weakness–” And they'd take him away from Noct. Find someone more suitable, more adult. “I need to prove I'm responsible and I can't do that when I'm ten inches tall.”

“Okay, okay. Can I tell Gladio at least? He'll know what to do.”

“Let's get out of the Citadel first. I can't risk being discovered like this.”

###

One trip in Noct's pocket battling a detritus of lint and crumbs later, they were back in Noct's apartment with Ignis safely deposited on the kitchen bench.

“I texted Gladio,” Noct said. “He's gonna meet us here. He said he's stopping by home first and then he'll be over--” The buzzer rang.

“Noct. That seems awfully soon for Gladio.”

“Yeah. He musta really sprinted, huh?”

“Noct.”

“Fine! It's Prompto. But he's gonna be over here all the time! And he can keep a secret. And he might have some ideas. And he's here now so I'm gonna let him in.”

Well, apparently he had no choice in the matter. So when Prompto came bounding in and goggled at him there wasn't much he could do about it. “Dude,” he said. “This is so weird. How's it feel, Iggy?”

“Like I have a front row seat to observe how rarely everyone else trims their nostril hairs.”

Prompto covered his nose with his hand. “You look really cute, though.”

“How I look is not my primary concern right now.” At least it was far easier to hide his blushes at this size. “Noct seems to think you might have some insight on this situation.”

“Really? Me?”

Noct slung his arms over Prompto's shoulder. “Yeah. And he can provide much-needed moral support. Right?”

“Uh... Right. Maybe it'll wear off? Like those other status effects do?”

“We can but hope,” Ignis said. “I trust you can keep this to yourself?”

“Totally! Who am I gonna tell anyway? My parents? They'd think I was nuts. You hungry? I mean, I know you usually cook and stuff and you could get Noct to do it but you don't wanna add food poisoning to your problems, right?”

“I can cook!”

“Sure you can, bud. I'll get started on lunch, huh? Who knows? Maybe if we put enough veggies in you'll grow.”

###

So perhaps Noct was correct about having Prompto over. Food that was actually edible with Noct actually eating his veg out of guilt was one of the few silver linings of the situation. He'd even improvised by giving Ignis his lunch in the plastic cap from a soft drink and making some very tiny dumplings that could be eaten with his hands.

“Think you could manage to drink a coffee out of one of those?” Prompto asked.

Not without either lapping it up like a dog or spilling scalding hot coffee all over himself. “Thank you but no.”

“So how'd this happen anyway?”

“My fault,” Noct said. “I got a formula or a ratio wrong when I was making potions and Specs shielded from me from the reaction. So he ended up like this.”

“Wow. So you're Noct's hero?”

“Hardly.”

Gladio's arrival curtailed that conversation. He shoved past Noct when he opened the door. “Where is he?” He didn't wait for Noct's answer before he spotted Ignis on the table. He stooped down to put him at eye level with Ignis. “Shit. I can cover for ya at the Citadel until we figure this out.” He reached into his rucksack. “I raided Iris' doll's houses.” He placed a bed, some tiny cups and plates, clothing, and a bath on the table next to Ignis. “That everything you'll need?”

“I don't plan on staying like this for very long.”

“Yeah, course. But you can't-- You wearing a hanky at the moment?”

“Noct improvised.”

Gladio pushed the collection of miniature clothing over to him with his forefinger. “It might not be your usual style but I got what I could. Iris has thousands of these. She won't miss 'em. I figured you'd wanna eat and keep clean too.” He took a six pack of Ebony from his rucksack too and poured one ever-so-carefully into the tiny cup. “Figured you'd need this. Probably you need a Scotch more but I don't trust princess not to drink it.”

“Hey,” Noct said. “He isn't old enough to drink either.”

“Yeah but he's about ten decades more mature than you.”

Ignis took the Ebony gratefully. The tea cup, though slightly large for his hand, was made of porcelain and decorated with a design of flowers. The bed also looked as luxe as a miniature possibly could, like it would actually be comfortable to sleep in. Suggesting that Gladio had taken some care selecting the items rather than just snatching whatever he could, as he'd claimed.

“You probably wanna get into some clothes too, huh?”

“Not right here, I don't.”

“No shit. Here.” Gladio held out his palm for Ignis to climb into. “I'll put you in Noct's room, get you when you're ready.”

There was evidence of consideration in the garments Gladio had stolen from Iris' toy chest too. They weren't his usual style, no, but they were as close to it as might be found on a doll. Shirts, smart trousers, and even braces. Thankfully, Gladio had also managed to acquire some tiny pairs of boxer shorts too. It was just a shame that he no longer had a pair of glasses small enough. The shoes were also unfortunately far too tight so he'd have to put up with bare feet and fuzzy vision until they managed to fix this.

When Gladio returned he was still yelling over his shoulder at Noct, continuing an argument Ignis hadn't been privy to. “ – Better hope you can find a way to fix this.”

“You think I don't know that?” Noct said.

“I don't just think it, I know you'll take any chance to slack off. Like hell I'm gonna let you get away with that. I'm gonna be on your ass until Iggy's taller than you again.”

Ignis got a view of Noct's reddening face when Gladio hoisted him back onto his palm. He was sure that this had been an accident but he also wouldn't put it past Noct to try to neglect his schoolwork in this situation. Prompto was sitting uncomfortably on the sofa, trying to pretend he was also part of the furniture.

“You always assume I'm gonna do the worst thing possible!” Noct said. “I wanna help Iggy as much as you do.”

“Uh-huh. Maybe I should take him home with me.”

“You're such an asshole! You think cause Iggy's always taking care of me I can't take care of him for once? I can definitely take care of him better than you. Don't think a couple of girl's toys changes that.”

“You can't even cook a damned omelette without setting the smoke alarms off. He's better off with me. Or, hell, Prompto. Anyone but you.”

Prompto squeaked something about how he wasn't sure what his parents would think of that but neither of them were paying attention to him. Or to Ignis. Apparently he wasn't involved in this decision about where _he_ should stay.

“He'd rather be with me!”

“Yeah, right. He can cosy up in your sock drawer, huh? Right next to the crusty one?”

“You might crush him in one of your stupid, giant hands!”

“Enough!” Ignis said. His voice wasn't quite as commandeering as it used to be but they shut up all the same. “I will stay with Noct, not because I trust him more, or whatever ridiculous pissing contest it is this time, but because I am perfectly capable of looking after myself even at this size. And because I am best able to perform my duties here. Duties that Noct will be assisting me with, since he's the one who put me in this situation. Please put me down, Gladio.”

Gladio placed him back on the table. “You sure?” he said. “I can probably take a whole doll house outta Iris' room without her noticing. Sneak it into mine. It'd be like you had your own manor.”

“No, thank you.”

“I'll do some research,” Gladio said. “I got access to all the library archives. There might be something there about weird magic stuff. Solheim era maybe?”

“I'll fix it,” Noct said. “Don't look at me like that, Gladio. I will.”

###

Ignis woke to the worrisome sound of giggling. He'd had a restless night's sleep on Noct's bedroom table listening to Prompto and Noct whisper to each other, then the combined noise of their snoring. He'd finally drifted off in the early hours and now he was being roused by this. A few flashes went off. He bolted upright.

“What are you two doing?”

“Nothing!”

Prompto was a bad liar at the best of times but Ignis had also seen him shove his phone behind his back. Noct was attempting to look innocent.

“Give me that phone,” Ignis said, holding out his hand.

And it would have worked, normally. Prompto would have tripped over himself to hand over the phone. Now an agonised look crossed over his face as he considered his options. If he actually handed Ignis the phone it would crush him, if he didn't he'd be defying Ignis whom he still viewed as an authority figure, if he put the phone down near him it would only remind him of his current situation.

“Look,” Noct said. “It's just a picture. You're gonna find this pretty funny once I get you back to normal.”

“I assure you I will not find this funny in the slightest.”

“C'mon,” Prompto said. He showed Ignis the photo of him tiny and sleeping in a tiny bed. The regular-sized alarm clock dwarfing him. “You looked so cute. I had to get a pic! Besides, I got Noct up before two on a weekend. I gotta get some credit for that, right?”

A Leviathan feat indeed and Noct did actually seem alert. It only mollified him a little since his motivator was apparently Ignis' suffering but he was sure there was no malice in it. “Whether I'm in a forgiving mood or not depends on what you have planned for breakfast.”

###

Toast with avocado, rice, tofu, natto, and a selection of fruits were what Prompto had provided. It wasn't too far off what Ignis would have prepared himself, although less flavourful. Currently, Prompto was trying to goad Noct into eating a grapefruit by shoving it into his face.

Noct swiped his hand away. “Gross. How can you eat that stuff?”

Prompto bit right into the flesh of the grapefruit. “Mmmm. Hurts so good.”

“If you're finished playing with your food,” Ignis said, putting down the tiny chopsticks Prompto had fashioned from toothpicks for him. “Perhaps we could go through today's itinerary?”

Noct groaned. “Already? Man, I miss fun Specs.”

“And I miss being able to see the top of your head. We have elocution lessons, then we need to go over the speech I assume you've already written since I told you explicitly that it had to be done by today at the very latest.”

“Uhhhhhhh...”

“Dude. Gladio's already gunning for you,” Prompto said. “Why you gotta be like this?”

“I forgot, okay! I was stuck on that history assignment and then I got un-stuck but everything else I had to do just kinda... fell out. I promise, I wasn't slacking off. Not this time! I meant to do it. I just--”

“Then it's a good thing I told you the deadline was a week earlier than it actually is. I thought it might motivate you but apparently I was completely wrong.”

“Sorry, I really--”

“No harm done. We'll work on it today.”

###

Though he knew Noct wouldn't intentionally undermine him, Ignis had subconsciously worried that his new size would mean that Noct would see him as less authoritative. Instead, Noct worked diligently until the speech was finished and up to Ignis' exacting standards. It wasn't very important if thought about in terms of the addresses King Regis had to give to the increasingly jaded citizens of Insomnia but Noct needed the practise for when it was his term to take the mantle. The only people Noct had to persuade were the Charitable Giving Committee, who were inclined to indulge Noct for what they saw as the naivete of youth. It was horribly condescending but if it diverted more funds to programmes to assist refugees both Noct and Ignis were willing to exploit it.

“I do care about this stuff, you know,” Noct said, still defensive although Ignis really hadn't had the energy to scold him about missing yet another deadline.

“I neither said nor implied that you didn't.”

“There's just so much to do and remember and it's all,” Noct made a flapping gesture with both hands. “So much. And dad does even more than me _and_ has to do it while the ring's draining... everything out of him. I can't even do a stupid speech! How's Insomnia gonna look when I'm in charge of it?”

“That won't be for a very long time, Noct.”

“Yeah? How much time?”

Noct was perceptive in ways that surprised even Ignis sometimes. It certainly surprised the various committees when what they viewed as a spoiled teenager demanded answers that they either didn't have or didn't want to give. He had seen Regis' decline. He knew what it meant. And in this respect, Ignis was yet another bureaucrat confounded by an insightful question he had no answers to. “I don't know,” Ignis said, hoping that Noct would be satisfied with honesty where he was usually met with filibustering.

“Doesn't matter, anyway. It's never gonna be enough time to make me like him.”

“You won't be like King Regis. You will be better.” Ignis would make sure of that.

###

Despite Ignis' insistence to Gladio that he would be able to carry out his duties as normal, he had fallen at the first hurdle: his notes. Even with his mobile phone laid out on the table and every page shrunk to a size that meant he could still read it, the logistics were a nightmare. To proceed to the next page, he had to place both hands on the edge. Then he had to ask Noct to shrink it again. He also was unable to use the on-screen keyboard to add or annotate things. Even pressing one key required him to stand on it with both feet. The result of trying to write a whole sentence was gibberish riddled with typos.

Trying to do it the old-fashioned way was also a disaster. Even with the stub of a pencil, Ignis needed to hold the damned thing like a baton and walk across a piece of paper just to write. Noct had found some miniature pencils online but they would take a couple of days to arrive even by courier considering the security checks anything delivered to the royal family had to go through.

“Me and Gladio can go to your meetings,” Noct had suggested. But it wasn't feasible. Noct had to go to school and Gladio had his own duties. He'd texted both Prompto and Gladio looking for further solutions but neither of them were able to come by until tomorrow at the earliest.

He was forced to give up. At least his physical abilities didn't have to suffer. He worked through his usual routine of stretches and body weight exercises. Perhaps they made such a thing as tiny dumb bells for dolls? He'd hate his muscles to atrophy because of this incident.

“Wanna try another remedy?” Noct asked.

“I'm sure the first five did the trick if they're going to work at all.”

“I'll pour you a bath then.” Noct snatched the tiny bath Gladio had left and started to boil some water. He set it down on the bench while he added cold water to it. He tested the temperature of it with his finger while he added the hot to the cold. “There. Think that's right.” He picked Ignis up – apparently unaware of his squirming – and set him down next to the bath. “Let me know if it's too hot or cold.”

“Noct! Do you think you turned me into an exhibitionist when you shrunk me?”

“The hell? No!” It took a few moments for Noct to catch on. “I wasn't gonna look!”

Ignis took a deep breath. It wasn't his fault. It had been an accident. He was just trying to be helpful.”Put the bath somewhere private.”

“Why?! There's only me here and I told you, I'm not gonna look!”

“Because I wish to bathe in private and you shouldn't require any further explanation than that. You also need to ask before you pick me up.”

“Are you serious? What do you think I'm gonna do to you?”

“Don't be absurd. I don't think you're 'going to do' anything to me but you wouldn't simply carry Prompto into another room if you wanted him to move. Or Gladio, if you were physically able to. You also wouldn't expect them to bathe in the middle of your kitchen.”

“Fine.” Noct gave Ignis an exaggerated bow. “Where would you like to be transported to, Mr. Scientia?” He bowed again. “May I help you to get there?”

Kicking Noct in the face would only injure Ignis himself but he was sorely tempted. Noct was sixteen and couldn't always be depended upon to be understanding and sensitive, Ignis reminded himself. He required patience to deal with. Often excessive patience. “Your room with the door closed behind it or the bathroom will do.”

Aside from a little huffing and puffing Noct complied. He put the bath next to Ignis' new bed and then Ignis down beside it. Despite his obvious lingering annoyance, he also added a couple of small towels. Then he set his mobile phone next to them both.

“My number's on the screen,” he said, in response to Ignis' questioning look. “So if anything happens and I can't hear you shouting, you can get me. I know, I know, you can still take care of yourself and whatever but what if a spider tries to eat you or something? Enjoy your bath.”

###

When Prompto arrived the next day, he had a solution to one of Ignis' more minor problems. A pencil with stacking points. A single removed point was small enough for Ignis to write with comfortably. He'd also taken the time to cut A4 paper into several tiny pages. After some embarrassment and another heated argument with Noct yesterday, Gladio had brought a toilet from one of Iris' dolls' house. It actually had a tank and a realistic flush. Alongside some hastily taped together cardboard walls, Ignis now had his own private bathroom and a solution to his toileting needs that didn't involve Noct holding him over the bowl with his eyes squeezed shut.

“I got nothing,” Gladio said. “Spent four hours in the archives and couldn't see a mention of anything like this. I'll dig further back tomorrow. My turn to cook,” Gladio said, waylaying Prompto as he headed for the kitchen.

“You doing okay?” Prompto asked, sitting on the floor next to the coffee table. 

Ignis was stranded there until Noct decided to go to bed. He had his own miniature chair and desk now but it very much was not his office. “I'm not looking forward to the backlog when I return to work.”

“Yeah...” He probably wished he hadn't asked. But Prompto never could let an awkward silence last more than a couple of seconds without filling it. “Anything else we can do?”

Ignis curtailed the immediate urge to snap at him. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't even truly Noct's fault. Prompto was only trying to help. But an insidious, bitter voice insisted that they'd never been this concerned about him before now no matter how heavy his burdens had been. “Not that I can think of, thank you.” 

Since Ignis could not use his phone, he had to rely on memory to do what work he could. All of the things he must be forgetting nagged at him.like an impacted wisdom tooth. He would have so much catching up to do. His long absence would have to be explained. Noct had told them Ignis was under the weather. The Council would question his worthiness to fulfil his role yet again if he couldn't simply weather the sniffles to do his duties. He didn't understand that unlike his, everyone else's roles were conditional.

“Doesn't your unofficial position as Noct's social relations manager wear on you?” Ignis said, before he could help himself.

“Uh... what?”

“Whenever there's someone he doesn't want to talk to, or a social situation that might be the least uncomfortable, and he can possibly get away with it, there you are to shoulder his burdens.”

“Dude, it's not like that.”

“Then what is it like?”

Prompto glanced over at Noct and Gladio in the kitchen area. They were embroiled in their latest argument about how you're definitely doing the dishes after this, princess and I never said I wasn't gonna do the dishes, you always just assume the worst ad nauseum. No assistance there. “It's like...friends help each other out, y'know? I'm good at the people stuff and Noct's not so much. He's good at math. He helps me with that.”

Noct was only good at maths because of Ignis' extensive tutelage. “A fair trade, do you think?”

“Dude. I know you're mad but c'mon. You know Noct better than that.”

Did he now? He thought he had but he'd also thought Noct respected him and what did he get for that? Taken to the bathroom when Noct could be bothered to like a poorly-kept pet. Told to bathe in the middle of the highest-traffic area of Noct's apartment. Sulking when he didn't comply immediately with whatever Noct thought was best for him and just because he'd changed _height_.

And the worst of it was that Noct was completely oblivious to the tension in the air. He dished out the food, argued with Gladio, joked with Prompto, exactly the same as usual. As they tucked into their food, Ignis became aware that not one of them was trying to include him in the conversation. He was being talked over. Literally and figuratively.


	2. Chapter 2

“Are you mad at me?”

How kind of Noct to notice. They were settling down to sleep in their respective beds. That was another point of contention. Normally Ignis would sleep at his own apartment. Noct had refused to even consider placing the smaller bed anywhere but on his bedside table in case 'something happened to him'. The silent treatment was childish. Usually he'd rely on sheer intimidation to get things done (although rarely with Noct). But that was yet another thing that wasn't feasible in this form.

“We're gonna fix it, you know,” Noct said.

Ignis pulled the covers over his ears and said nothing.

###

Despite Gladio's ribbing, Noct was not entirely helpless. He couldn't bake but a simple breakfast wasn't beyond him. He offered a spread of tiny plates to Ignis tentatively. Then a cup of coffee. Ignis took it and tried not to feel guilty about how dishevelled Noct looked. Or how tired. It was only six a.m.

“I know you don't wanna get him involved but I really think my dad–”

“No. We will figure this out without anyone knowing of my predicament.”

“Specs, that's stupid. You hate this. _I_ hate this. If he can fix it, then why not?”

“You don't understand.”

“You and Gladio are always saying that. But how the hell am I gonna understand anything if you never explain it to me?”

That was...a fair point, actually. “You're aware that if Prompto was to do anything that brought shame to the Lucian crown, you would not be able to maintain your friendship with him?”

“Yeah.” There had been lecture after lecture on it. There had been council sessions. There had been a more intimate chat with the king that Ignis hadn't been privy to. “Don't see how that's relevant, though.”

He didn't want to see it. Ignis had taught him to be better at connecting the dots than this. “There are some people whose roles in your lives are almost guaranteed. It would be very difficult to remove Gladio, for example, since Shield is a hereditary position.”

“You're my advisor,” Noct said. “They can't do anything to you.”

“I was given this very sought-after position as a child, Noct. There are dozens of more experienced and more qualified people who were looked over to give it to me. Any slip-up, any–”

“No way! Maybe that was true then but it can't be now. Maybe you weren't qualified as a kid but no one else could do what you do now. And I wouldn't let them fire you or whatever. Plus I call bullshit on the Gladio thing. I've seen the histories and shitty Shields got killed quick or they got removed. They're not gonna kick you out for a mistake. Especially one that was my fault”

Spoken like someone who hadn't had the Council breathing down his neck for a decade. “Do not tell the King about this, Noct. You may not think the consequences will be anything dire but one consequence I absolutely guarantee is that I will be furious.”

###

That night Gladio stayed over. He had brought some of the texts on Ancient Solheim with him. Anyone who wasn't an Amicitia would have gotten into a lot of trouble for that. He pored over them late into the night, sitting up until long after Ignis and Noct had both gone to bed.

For his sins, Ignis was a light sleeper. Movement and chatter in the bed beside him had him alert, listening out for more noise. There was fumbling. Gladio's gruff voice trying to be soft. “Not tonight,” he said in something near-enough to a whisper.

“Seriously?” Noct whispered. “You sent me all those texts--”

“Not with Iggy here.”

“He's asleep–”

“You're just gonna have to deal with the blue balls, punk.”

What on Eos? If this conversation implied what he thought it did, then... How hadn't he noticed? He wasn't aware that Gladio and Noct texted anything much beside training regimes and arguments about said training regimes.

“I'll be quiet.”

“No you won't. You almost got us caught by my dad last time and I ain't gonna get caught again.”

There was more fumbling. Then a loud thud. “What is going on here?” Ignis said, as loudly as he could manage.

There was a scuffle that sounded very much like two people trying to disentangle themselves. Ignis' eyes were adjusting. He could vaguely see Gladio on the bed. Noct peeking up from the floor.

“Squirt put his cold feet on me,” Gladio said. “Thought I'd teach him a lesson.”

 _How dare they lie to him. How dare Gladio especially lie to him. They shared everything about Noct's routine. Everything. Why would they exclude him from this? What did they think he was going to do?_ “You haven't forwarded many texts about Noct's training to me recently.”

“Iggy. It's three in the damned morning. We really gotta talk about work now?”

“You have nothing else to say? On the matter of texts and Noct perhaps?”

“Shit. Noct, I am gonna fucking kill you.”

“It's your giant mouth that got us heard!” Noct said, still on the floor.

Gladio hit the bedside lamp. Light flooded the room. Gladio was wearing nothing but a pair of tiny briefs. Noct, when he climbed back on the bed, was wearing one of Gladio's T-shirts. It was enormous on him.

Ignis was aware that his friends were attractive. He was aware that they were in the upper echelon of attractiveness. But he never, ever allowed himself to dwell on that fact. It was a distraction that had nothing to do with his duties. And that why he didn't let his gaze linger on Gladio's Infernian-like chest, or on Noct's legs as the T-shirt bunched up around them.

“It's no big deal,” Gladio said. “I'm not gonna propose or anything. Nothing that's gonna cause any trouble.”

“What exactly isn't a big deal?”

Noct squirmed but it was Gladio who answered. “Just some fooling around.”

“Gladio, Noct must–”

“Yeah, yeah. The Royal Virginity's safe with me. What you heard was Noct trying to get another blow job outta me then whining cause he didn't get his own way, as usual.”

And that wasn't a big deal to Gladio? To either of them apparently? Ignis had never even– No. This wasn't about that. “And what do you have to say for yourself, Noct?”

Noct drew his knees up to his chest. The T-shirt slipped further down his thighs. Wasn't he wearing anything underneath? “Like Gladio said, it's no big deal. And we're careful. We got separate phones for the, uh... for the other stuff. And Gladio sent me a tonne of stuff today so this is his fault.”

“What did you send him, Gladio?”

“Gods, Iggy. Use your imagination. You wanna video or something?”

The one advantage of being this height was that they probably weren't able to see him turning red. “Why didn't either of you tell me?”

“Cause I kinda thought you'd freak out about it,” Noct said.

If it was someone else, perhaps. Someone who couldn't be trusted. But Gladio was a different matter entirely. “Does Prompto know?”

Noct nodded, trying to shimmy his way behind Gladio. “He figured it out! We weren't gonna tell anyone, I swear, but he just put it all together and then I couldn't lie right to his face. And he, uh, kinda needed to know anyway.”

“Why did he need to know?”

Noct pressed his face into his thighs and mumbled something.

“I didn't quite catch that.”

“Cause I kinda did stuff with him too.”

“Is there anyone else?”

Gladio snorted, although Noct certainly didn't seem to find it amusing. “No! Who else would it be?”

“Full disclosure,” Gladio said. “I hooked up with Prompto too. I was showing him some training techniques, and he asked if I could biceps curl him, and–”

“I'm sure I don't need all the details,” Ignis said, glad that the duvet covered his lower half. “We can discuss this further in the morning.” He turned over and tried to will his erection away by force of will alone?

Who else would it be? Noct had asked. Well, Ignis could think of one other person.


	3. Chapter 3

Last night's revelations certainly hadn't changed the amount of bickering Gladio and Noct did. No wonder Ignis hadn't been aware of it. They acted no differently towards each other than they had since they were children.

“You wanna tell me how to cook this beef so it tastes like how you make it?” Gladio asked Ignis.

“Are you actually going to follow my instructions?”

“Yours? Hell yeah! You know what you're talking about.”

With that, Gladio held out his palm for Ignis to hop into. He transferred Ignis to his shoulder. Which made him feel like a parrot but it was the best option if Gladio was to use both of his hands for cooking. “A cinnamon rub is your best bet if you want the meat to be moist.”

“Hear that, Noct? Coulda just rubbed it with cinnamon if you wanted your meat moist.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Noct said. He turned beetroot red and buried himself further into the couch cushions.

It was best to stay far, far away from that particular discussion. Ignis directed Gladio through making the rub and massaging it into the meat.

“Hey Noct,” Gladio said, while he was massaging. “I'm–”

“I'm gonna kill you, Gladio.”

“Like to see you try, shrimp. You wanna get on my other shoulder? Learn some life skills?”

“No!”

Gladio allowed Noct to stew in his embarrassment and concentrated on the food. “The oven next, right Iggy?”

“Yes. Prepare the salad and rice while you're waiting for it to cook.” Ignis scanned the ingredients. “Noct won't eat mushrooms unless they're disguised. Finely dice them and I'll talk you through a sauce.”

Ignis expected pushback from that but Gladio simply did as he said. Prompto arrived while they were still cooking.

“Dude, “ he said, to Noct. “Why's your face so red?”

“Ignis knows,” Noct said. “About me and you. And me and Gladio. And you and Gladio.”

“And you and me and Gladio?”

“ _Now_ he does.”

“Oh. Uh. Are we in trouble? Am I gonna be exiled?”

“Nothing of the sort,” Ignis said. “But I do wish you had told me.”

“We didn't wanna make it weird for you. Anyway, kinda awkward to say 'Hey Igster, I'm smooching your prince.'” Prompto stuck his head through the loop of one of Gladio's arms to get a look at what he was doing. “Whatcha making?”

Gladio seized the opportunity to catch him in a headlock. He raised his other hand to steady Ignis as the motion jostled him. Gladio was always bigger than Ignis – Gladio was bigger than most people – but being in the grip of just his thumb and forefinger was an entirely new experience.

The raw strength, the easy way Gladio had with other people, how quickly being friendly and flirty came to him, were all things that Ignis had often admired. Purely professional, he'd told himself. But in his steady, careful grip so much of what he'd suppressed rose to the surface. He wanted to be pinned down by that massive body. Get a taste of that raw strength for himself. He wanted–

He was hard. He was hard and sitting on Gladio's shoulder.

How staggeringly inappropriate.

He tried to calm himself down while Prompto squealed for mercy, both of them laughing as Gladio released him. Tried to concentrate on Gladio taking the meat cuts out of the oven but that just reminded him of Gladio's earlier comments, which weren't conducive to helping him settle down.

“You okay up there?” Gladio asked. “Want me to put you down?”

“No! No. Not until I've talked you through presentation.”

###

The meal was declared good, although not as good as Ignis' and a minor disagreement with Gladio about why the food did in fact need to look good as well as taste good helped Ignis avoid any further embarrassment. As contrary as he'd been about it, Gladio made an effort to present Ignis' meal the same way the others were presented, even if it was on a plastic doll's plate.

“You going stir crazy in here, Iggy?” Gladio asked, after he'd berated Noct into clearing up after them.

“A little,” Ignis said. As much as he cared for Noct, he did usually have some separation from him.

“We could take you somewhere?” Prompto suggested. “You'll be easy to hide, right? The movies, maybe? Then it's dark too.”

“Too risky,” Noct said.

“I'll decide what's too risky for myself,” Ignis said. “And as thrilling as moving between your bedside table and the kitchen counter is, I would like to expand my horizons.”

“Fine. I'll go put on a shirt with a front pocket.”

“I'll take him,” Gladio said.

“Like you ever wear a shirt.”

“How's he gonna see a movie in your pocket, shrimp?”

“You gonna tape him to your man-boob?”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Prompto. I'll go with Prompto.”

“Oh... no....” Prompto said as the two of them turned their ire onto him. “Uh, you know, Gladio's got the shielding thing down, and Noct's done an okay job so far, right? No need for me to hog the Igster or get involved in this at all. Right, Igster? Right?”

It had been unfair of him to drag Prompto into this. “Could the two of you please settle your differences? If only for the sake of me getting to leave today.”

“Fine.” Gladio said. “You take him, Noct. That way he's closer to the ground if he falls outta your pocket.”

###

This pocket was a lot cleaner than the last. It was freshly laundered, smelling fresh and not too strongly of seventeen-year-old boy. Ignis was cradled in it, trying not to move. He'd have preferred to walk with the others but that idea was laughable. It'd take him two weeks just to catch up to one of Gladio's strides. His hiding place also meant that he couldn't join in on any of the conversation. He let the sounds of Noct's, Gladio's, and Prompto's voices wash over him, nestled closer to the warmth of Noct's chest and...

The next thing he knew, he was flailing in an unfamiliar, enclosed space. As rationality asserted itself, he remembered he was in Noct's pocket. Noct's hand had come up to _pat_ him as he startled.

“Hey,” Noct said, the vibrations of his chest rumbling through Ignis. “You awake? The movie's about to start.”

Ignis poked just his head out of Noct's pocket. Prompto and Gladio were either side of him. The rest of the theatre was mostly empty. Prompto passed Ignis a piece of popcorn, which he had to take in both hands. The movie was some action-orientated nonsense of the kind that Noct and Prompto favoured. A mindless plot with lots of fighting (which Gladio 'tsk'ed and huffed about, probably galled at their technique) and car chases (would Ignis ever be able to drive again?). He was still enjoying it nonetheless, until Prompto tried to give him a drink of his slushie.

He squeezed a little too hard, covering Noct's shirt – and Ignis – in icy cold, bright red dye.

###

“I'm so sorry, so sorry, sorry, so sorry--” Prompto had been going on like that the entire way home.

“He said it was cool,” Noct said. “Stop freaking out!”

“You're all freaking out!” Gladio yelled. Goodness, was he always that loud? 

Ignis was shivering despite the best efforts of his panicking friends. A hasty wipe with toilet tissues stolen from the cinema bathroom had taken care of the worst of it. Then he'd been transferred to Prompto's pocket since it was cleaner and drier. But his clothes were still wet – there was no force in all of Eos that would have gotten him to take them off. They all piled up at Noct's door, Noct scrambling to open it amid Prompto's constant apologising and Gladio's insistence that he should take Ignis because of something or other about body heat.

The door swung open from the inside. King Regis was waiting behind it.

“Good afternoon, Noctis,” he said. “Ignis Scientia has been reported missing, yet by all accounts, you three have been carrying on as normal. Would you care to explain yourselves?”


End file.
